SELF-LOVE. CONFUSING BUT NECESSARY.

Self-Love. A practice that can seem very confusing and complicated.

All the love that we need is already within ourselves waiting to be discovered and the moment we do, we open up more freely to the love that is outside in the world too. Ironically, after all the searching, you realize it was there all along. The moment you decide to commit to yourself, shifts will take place deep in your consciousness and show up in your everyday life.

For those of you who are new at this, we call it a practice because it takes patience, trust and constant forgiveness of the self. This way of being will not be a smooth ride. It will not happen overnight. It will be not always be pretty. However, it will be worth it and may very well be your most incredible and sacred journey. We have deteriorated our skills in patience. Most people will not make this level of commitment to themselves because they want results right away, want to control the outcome or lose faith quickly.

Let me tell you now what I have learned about the benefit of this self-love practice. It’s about changing your negative thoughts and ideas that you are not good enough, smart enough, attractive enough and so on. It’s about setting and holding clear boundaries, what you are willing and unwilling to accept in your life. It’s about healing your loneliness. It’s about discerning when to speak your truth and when to listen. It’s about taking back your power to create the life that you deserve even when you’re told it is crazy.

It’s living life courageously. It is radical. It is necessary.

Sharing these words with you is an act of self-love for myself. There was a time where I felt unheard and confused too. I hope this reaches you with love and hope!

WALKING YOUR AUTHENTIC PATH CAN BE TOUGH

Learning to walk your authentic path can be tough. When you first start “waking up”, it’s uncomfortable. Your soul is challenging you constantly, and suddenly you feel like it can't get any harder – the same old thing is no longer satisfying, interactions with people become more frustrating and the world seems more out of whack.

It may not feel like it at the time but this an exciting stage – you are in the process of transformation! Your soul is shaking you up to embrace big, big change. How else will it get you out of your comfort zone? So yes, the havoc is worth it I promise because on the other side is a rewarding, satisfying and balanced life. It’s not easy but it is our rite of passage.

Each of us has a unique path we are walking but similarly experience the ever-changing steps which are exciting, clumsy, wondrous, uneasy, breath-taking and exhausting. Through it all, there is a part inside of you that enjoys it. You may be asking how??? I invite you to check with your heart right now and feel it beat for the love of it. Crazy, right? :) 

Lastly, I want to remind you that our journey is meant to be shared, and we are meant to both give and receive support. Allow yourself that gift – reach out to someone for conversation, take the class and meet someone new, write and post online. We have all the same destination no matter how we get there.

THE CALL OF OUR ANCESTORS

I recently received my results from a DNA ancestry test. I’ve spent the last week reflecting on its results and acknowledging the inevitable pull of all those who exist within my DNA. With so many questions, I have been going within to receive the answers in meditation. This experience has prompted to write on this topic, as it may not be at the forefront of our minds. So, let’s explore what we metaphysically call, Ancestral Healing.

Whether we know it or not, our ancestors speak to us from where they are through intuition, dreams and synchronicities. They walk within other realms and have wisdom to pass on to us spiritually. They created the path that enabled us to be here now and also who prayed for our future. We stand on what they built. If we tune in, we can sense them in our blood and bones.

This sacred connection also carries their memories, pains and traumas along with their strength and wisdom. Many of us go through life patterns, sadness, imbalances and issues that we can’t always explain in the day to day. Some of us are sensing “out of the ordinary” occurrences that we can’t piece together either. Please know that they see our struggles and are gently guiding us back to our higher-selves because they see what we can’t. They have mastered what we haven’t. When one of us heals a condition, the entire tribe is uplifted. It is for the benefit of all humanity!

My many experiences on this journey along with my clients have showed me the wonders of what is possible. I urge you not to be afraid, to explore and honor this calling within you. If you need support, I offer my assistance along with the loving wisdom of my ancestors.

THE FORCE OF THE ECLIPSES

Eclipses are activators of change through force with the effect of dissolving or initiating things. These cosmic shifts can leave us feeling disoriented and sometimes disturbed as experiences in our lives turn upside down. It’s not all for the sake of friction, if we pay close attention really deep work can unfold for us.

The force of the eclipse is like the momentum needed to make a turn in a vehicle.  The movement can be used to make that decision you have been putting off, have the conversation you have been fearing to have or take the action on the thing you didn’t want to do but need to. It may feel forced right now but sometime in the near future, you will have realized that you are wiser, stronger and better off for having gone through it.  The other option is to ride this force and crash but that takes way too long to recuperate from so clearly the empowered choice is better.

Everyone is sensitive during these eclipse windows with emotions running high and a sense of internal and external chaos. Channel your inner healer and use crystals for grounding like Red Jasper and Tourmaline. Use sage to clear negative vibes, spray lavender to balance the vibes around your space. Chant OM for a few minutes to clear and balance yourself.  Meditate, sleep more and more importantly keep your sense of humor.

Stay strong lunar kids! :D

NEW YEAR, REAL YOU

New Year – new you...nahhhhh!!  I say REAL YOU!  

Let’s get clear.  You don’t need a more sparkly version of YOU, what you do need is the REAL YOU to show up.  It mean’s owning what you want, your desires, visions, fears and loves.  It’s about knowing what you want and going for it.  And yes, you have to own all the excuses too!

So…how do you want your life to look and feel day to day?  Do you feel deserving of the good that is unfolding? Can you change what seems to be not going so well? Can you let go of what you may not be able to change?

It’s up to you to design your life the way it feels right for you.  Pay close attention if you suspect someone else dictating what they feel you need. Look out for the ways you may not be aligned with who you really are.  Observe your reactions to circumstances you don't agree with. They are all clues to what's happening inside. 

My wish for you in 2018 is to give yourself permission to shine more brilliantly than ever before!  

ATTITUDE OF GRATITUDE

We hear a lot of advice on adopting an "attitude of gratitude" when we are on the path to self-mastery. And guess what…the advice is right –  the fact that you can breathe, move your body, have a comfortable bed to rest, eat food every single day, drink clean water, get out in nature, find beauty where ever you go, makes life truly a blessing. Gratitude is all about the art of self-love and incorporating positive habits of thought.

As with anything, it takes time to develop. Remember that a belief is a string of thoughts and you can change one thought at a time!  Start your day on a positive note. Say to yourself: “I intend to feel fantastic today!”. Affirmations are powerful. The best time to affirm is in the morning when you are fresh and without any resistance. As the day goes by, your old habits of thoughts will try taking over and you can change that around quickly with your positive affirmation. The next day it will get easier, the day after even better…and so on, you will build up to a belief than an attitude.

Not sure what to be grateful about?  Challenge yourself, try new things, hang out with some new people – sign up for a dance class, yoga, a cooking lesson, etc. Whatever you do, tap into your passion and give yourself and life kudos for being AWESOME!!

TURN NEGATIVE INTO POWER

It’s a great reminder that most of the negative things you tell yourself never really come true. They are not even a reflection of what is going in the present time. Battling those self-defeating thoughts is both draining and stressful. Redirect your focus to becoming more AWARE to transform yourself in the observer of your thoughts. Watch them come to the surface, notice their reaction to something that has happened externally, become curious about the thread of the thoughts that become the “story”.

Of course, life doesn’t always go as planned and sometimes feels downright out of control, which leads into the tailspin of “what-ifs” and “worse case scenarios”. If you are not dealing with a current major challenge like a break-up, job loss, death of a loved one, health problem or any other life changing circumstance, more than likely those negative thoughts are just useless brain chatter.

I am asked all the time, how do I change my thoughts? The technique is simple, what is challenging is the practice. Here's the magic formula...
1) Become aware, 2) Don’t react, 3) Choose positive thoughts instead 4) Repeat

Turn that negative spiral into POWER. Practice and keep practicing, until your default way of thinking is positive. There's no mystery to it, just takes practice. 

ARE YOUR GROWING?

The first sign to know that you are growing spiritually is when you start acting more compassionate towards yourself and other. It is a flow of unconditional love and its only intention or purpose is to seek truth. The more you acknowledge it, the more you move towards it.

You may have your self-care practices like meditation, crystal healing, journaling, affirmations and such but the purposes of those techniques are to move towards self-realization. The sum of all of your experiences are not truly who you are. Those temporary thoughts and emotions are not who you are either. Your true self is a lover of all and your purpose is to express love in all you do. That is the energy of which you were created from. That is the direction your life plan is always moving you towards. Don't allow anything distracting you from love fool you. 

Spirituality is not listening to the wise teacher, having deep conversations, buying beautiful items or prayer. It is not something that you find outside somewhere. It is an internal way of being. It’s the commitment to being honest to yourself...always. You may receive inspiration from the outside but those brilliant ideas just happen to match what you already know inside.  

Ask and listen. Trust yourself. Is what you are doing bringing you closer to love?

WHAT DOES HAPPINESS EVEN MEAN?

The older I get, the more that I realize that the little every day things is what leads to a happier life. One single step at a time towards the choices that express our truth debunks the myth of change being hard work. If we think of happiness as this "larger than life", super-charged, constant emotional state of bliss that is created by the presence of other things and people, than yes that is a ton of pressure. No wonder we all fail our way to change. 

I found that part of the problem is the term itself, happiness. Its kind of vague. We set off on our search for it but we don't understand what it is or how to achieve it. We tend to want to eliminate all of the negative aspects of our lives, identify our one true passion, live our life’s purpose and set out to achieve our life’s dreams…all before lunch time. Whew  All the while wondering why it isn't working.

Joy, satisfaction, love, curiosity are some of the positive emotions that lead us to feeling happy. The more we experience these positive emotions, the happier we’ll be. Easy so far, right? But how do we cultivate positive emotions? That’s easy too, if you’re willing to let it be. When we engage in activities or spend time with people (or animals) that we like, we tend to feel positive emotions. Simply put, the more time you spend engaged in activities that induce positive emotion, the more positive emotion you will feel and the more likely you will be to achieve an overall sense of happiness.

Have lunch with a friend, take a walk in the park, play with a dog, see a funny movie. Every time you engage in an activity that peaks your interest, makes you smile or gets your endorphins flowing, it’s like money in the bank. A little laugh here, a loving hug there and before you know it you’ve become the happy person you’ve always wanted to be without hardly trying.

So how will you practice happiness today?

SELF RESPONSIBILITY EQUALS POSITIVITY

Happiness is not the absence of problems, but the awareness to deal with them.

When less than ideal things happen to you, learning to accept and take self-responsibility allows you to become aware of what you need to do rather than 'hoping' it all goes away.

When we learn to take responsibility for everything that happens to us, we open up our positive energy to create a plan and resolve the problem/issue/situation. The imperfections of our day-to-day lives are what help us to learn, heal and grow into who we truly are.

I was the girl who lived life unhappily. Looking back, my life was lived out of habit rather than awareness and intent. I would ‘numb’ myself to avoid pain and fear. Life got incredibly uncomfortable until I learned about self-awareness and responsibility.

It was a long and exhausting path for me but it doesn’t have to be that way for you.