For so many years, shame was such a part of my life that I could not even recognize when I was experiencing it. I would barely allow others to look me in the eyes convinced that it would reveal that something was very “wrong” with me. I used my creative sacral energy to try and control myself, everyone around me and all my circumstances, without realizing how deteriorating it was. I used shame to disguise my emotions of loneliness, fear, resentment and sadness that I didn’t want to feel. If I could hide in shame, I stayed in the illusion of control. I learned that this state of being kept me small and excusing my own actions, it was my scapegoat.
I’m here to tell you that what is learned can be unlearned! So many of us walk around with “secrets” shrouded in shame believing that something is truly wrong with us. Today I can share how I began healing this. I started to acknowledge my feelings, learned to get comfortable with emotion and practiced staying in the present moment without adding more shame. That lead me to be more comfortable with emotion and abandon the need of trying to control others to protect myself.
If you’re at a place right now where you are holding on to shame, and having a hard time with emotion, think about getting some support through this. You can heal!