If you ever self-sabotaged your own intentions and goals, you’re not alone. Most of us have experienced this before, the trouble is that it’s unconscious so we're not always aware. I am all too familiar with it. For years, I unconsciously manifested situations that prevented me from sharing myself with the world. I consistently made excuses, rationalized every reason why I couldn’t do something. I prevented myself from making progress because my core belief was that if I didn’t “put myself out there”, I couldn’t get hurt or fail.
Self-sabotage is when our behaviors create problems that deter us away from our true desires. It shows up as unhealthy habits which create more unnecessary pain. For some people, it may look like avoidance, procrastination, self-shaming or criticism. On the day to day, it may look like misusing drugs, alcohol, overeating, money issues or relationship drama.
So, what we are battling at the root is fear. Fear of not being “good enough”. Fear that we are unworthy. Fear of being exposed. Fear of vulnerability. Fear of discomfort and pain. With self-sabotaging behavior we lend ourselves a way to “control” situations that feel uncomfortable and unfamiliar. We are trying avoid not feeling disappointed, humiliated or have our worse fears confirmed by the outside world.
The truth is that the suffering actually comes from the story we tell ourselves. We have no true way of avoiding failure. It’s part of the life experience and we have to go through it in order to grow. Now what is within our control, is changing the narrative in our minds and releasing the emotion we have built up over time which is self-harming.
Wishing you the courage to let go of what no longer serves you!